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[03 Jun 2005|10:16pm] |
Okay this is the last update (i think) for this journal that Im ever going to make.
I have a new elljay, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) poison_gir1 . Add me if you love me =D
<3<3<3
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[15 May 2005|09:56pm] |
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mood |
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your sweet six six six -- HIM |
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new elljay bitches, poison_gir1. and its fianly friends only
<3</span>
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[12 May 2005|09:28pm] |
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Its all tears (dorwn in love) -- HIM |
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I'm coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go
I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside
I’m coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go
Cause I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside
I never...
I never...
I never...
I never...
This song always puts me in a better mood. I've been dancing around the house to it for like two days now.
So schools officaly over, THANK GOD! I'm still really worried on how im going to do on my exams. I really dont want to be a freshmen again next year, plus i want to take that fashion class. I'm sure I'll do better thank i think i will.
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[11 May 2005|10:21pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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mr brightside -- the killers |
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The realisation that, after tomorrow theres no more school (asdie from exam days), hasnt quite hit me yet. Sadly i think its days from now, months even. Maybe I just dnt want school to end. I dont knwo why, but maybe. Or maybe its that all my anxoity has built up to the point were I just dont care anymore. God, one thing im sure of is that the year as gone by way to fast. It seems like just yesterday when i walked into LaFebre's class soaking wet from the rain and telling him that i was new to his class.
Over the cours of this year I have realised who my closest friends are, who i trust, and who i'll never forget.
I hvae tree people in my life who I know for a fact I'll know for the rest of my life. I swear, well proably end up living together! Theyre my best friends in the whole world, I tell them abostly everything, and i wouldnt change them for the world. Harry, Krista and Julie.
I heard a song today a song that had no real meaning to me before but now it dose. When Ihard it it made me cry. I havn't cried listening to a song in so long.
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[02 May 2005|02:49pm] |
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busy |
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Letters To God-- Boxcar Racer |
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My weekend was defantly a good one. First off there was Puneet's party, then gay prom the next night. God, it was so much fun.
Friday [Puneet's Party]- After school let out i stop by portable 2 to drop off the dolls for outr flot for prom. I stayed there for about an hour just talking with Ms Tabouty (sp?). The conversating went from gay prom to home work to having a large chest, to what age your soposed to start school, back to gay prom. Krista and I didnt leave until about 3. Of course this friday was the friday for us to be girly and get our nails done. After that Krista and I came home and got ready for Neptunes. I swaer the whole fucking world was there that night! proably all for the Tres Bein show, whitch wold have been a good show if I had been there to see it. We left about an hour and a half after we got there, people from the partyy were getting a little antsy.
The party was great! I had enough time to run in and say "hi" to everyone before going to the park to have some "fun" with Puneet, Kara, and Connor. I didnt really dance much, too busy doing other things... and eating. I feel bad though I felt that I ignored some of the people there. But whats done is done.
The highligght of my night was when i walked strigh into Puneet's bedroom door. Oh god that was great.
Saturday [Gay Prom]- Krista, like always, spent the night along with harry and julie, friday. It was fun. We didnt get to bed until late so we woke up even later. Once everyone left Kara and Toni were already on theyre way over. It ened up everyone came over to get ready, everyone of course meaning, Gabby, Harry, Cesar, Cathie, and Kristen. We got to prom about 7:30, 8 ish. Oh god, that was proably the best night I've had in so long. I felt really cute and I literaly danced the night away!
Kara, Harry, Krista, Toni, Gabby and Cameron spent the night, we wtached Chicago until we feel asleep.
Sunday we didnt do much aside from play DDR, eat, clean and take pictures.
Tonight is my finaly concert for chorus, Kara and my mommy are comming to watch. This should be interesting seeing that only a few people can remember the words to our songs without the music.
Oh well, hopefuly theyll enjoy the show and dinner too.
Tomorrow is me and Ryan's one month. has it really been a month already? God, its crazy, it seems more like a cuppel of weeks. I doubt we'll do anything though.
<3
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[27 Apr 2005|09:26pm] |
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i feel so -- box carracer |
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dont drink the water was cool. I thank god i foind catlin and david. I ended up siting with Gracie and david, they made me feel special. I know it was joking aroud but they fough over me for like half the play. David gave me a kiss, it had carmel in it, he said it was cuban. Oh, and the play was good too.
Dued, i was quesidillas... like realli really bad.
<3
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[27 Apr 2005|04:37pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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timberwovlfs at new jersey-- TBS |
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You scored as Sailor Venus. You are very good at video games. You love celebrities and wis to be one. You are sweet and an idealist.
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Sailor Venus |
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92% |
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Sailor Moon |
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75% |
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Sailor Mercury |
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67% |
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Sailor Neptune |
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67% |
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Sailor Saturn |
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50% |
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Sailor Uranus. |
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50% |
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Sailor Jupiter |
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42% |
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Sailor Pluto |
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42% |
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Sailor Mars |
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25% |
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Sailor Chibi Moon |
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0% | </td>
Which Sailor Moon character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com</tr> |
...why am I always venus?
anwyas, Im really bored. Atleats I'm home for tonight, going to go see DOn'T dRiNK the Water with my mommy, maybe harry too.
I'm going to be like really busy this weekend. Puneet's party, then work, gay prom, then more work.... plus all my tv shows.
call me if you like... im bored
727644-3353
Lanie came over today. It was funny, she was so fuckig high. We took a lot of pictures and made her a myspace. All I've been doing sence she left was sit at the computer, listen to music and talk on AIM.
Such a loser.
<3
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[26 Apr 2005|07:47pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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music |
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grey matter -- finch |
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I had a really weird dream. It had my mohawk boy in it and ryan... and like all my friends. We were at my house but it Kara's. Ryan came and jumped on me.... then the rug rats came a woke me up.
I swaer all i've done today is sleep, and I'm still realy tired.
Its rianing .... i like the rain.
Okay well i've noticed my enrtys latly have been shit. Just random notes about how i feel or something.
The concert was great! although I [willingly] spent all my money to buy julie's way in. I wish i couold have gotten a shirt or CD. Oh well thats why man cerated Ebay. MSI playd a great show.Oh and Jimmy touched me! Oh god I yhave never been so happy in my life. after the concert harry and I got droped off at kristen's, before she got home. It was fun. I ran around the house with no pants, we smoked and ate icecream.
The next day I had a party. A lot of my cosets friends were there like harry krista kirtsen kara and gabby. yeah, that night was asowem. I wish Amy and Olga could have come though.
Okay so now thing two is startuing to piss me off so i think im donw for today.
<3
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[22 Apr 2005|04:09pm] |
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MSI tonight, im so excided!
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[17 Apr 2005|06:10pm] |
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mood |
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sic trasic gloria...glory fades -- brand nizzel |
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Kara's party was fun, I made a few new friends, although i sorta got into a fight with ryan... well not a fight he just made me upset. I'm better now, were better now.
Olga cut my his this mroing. Its really short, but I like it. I'll have pictures soon.
I dont knwo what I'm going to do about next weekend. I wanna got o puneet's party but the MSI concert is that day... >_<...Grrrr.
Toni and Krista are going out now. Its so effing cute, it makes me happy. But I want to see them kiss!!
I'm sad though...my mommy took my cloves away again, and I still fell sick.
Okay so this was a shit entry, only because I have to leave for my dads soon...
i'll miss everyone
Call if you love me <3
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[08 Apr 2005|02:54pm] |
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mood |
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cut up angels-- The used |
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My nazi isn't staying with me this weekend ;-;
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[07 Apr 2005|09:06pm] |
I'm home, and so utterly happy about it too!
Today was a slow day but a good one by and by. Afte school Toni, Kara, Lanie, and Ryan came over. We went to the beach for a little and then we came home and made invitations for Kara's party.
I also found out that I do own a pink thong!
I've redecoverd Bran Nizzle (brand new). Sic transic gloria... glory fades, fucking love that song!
"Keep the noise low.
She doesn't wanna blow it.
Shaking head to toe
while your left hand does "the show me around."
Quickens your heartbeat.
It beats me straight into the ground.
You don't recover from a night like this.
A victim, still lying in bed, completely motionless.
A hand moves in the dark to a zipper.
Hear a boy bracing tight against sheets
barely whisper, "This is so messed up."
Upon arrival the guests had all stared.
Dripping wet and clearly depressed,
he'd headed straight for the stairs.
No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch,
unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships.
(Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.)
He keeps his hands low.
He doesn't wanna blow it.
He's wet from head to toe and
his eyes give her the up and the down.
His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up.
But the body on the bed beckons forward
and he starts growing up.
The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe
you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
She hits the lights.
This doesn't seem quite fair.
Despite everything he learned from his friends,
he doesn't feel so prepared.
She's breathing quiet and smooth.
He's gasping for air.
"This is the first and last time," he says.
She fakes a smile and presses her hips into his.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He's holding back from telling her
exactly what it really feels like.
He is the lamb, she is the slaughter.
She's moving way too fast and all he wanted was to hold her.
Nothing that he tells her is really having an effect.
He whispers that he loves her,
but she's probably only looking for...
(Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.)
So much more than he could ever give.
A life free of lies and a meaningful relationship.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He waits for it to end
and for the aching in his guts to subside.
The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe
you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.
The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe
you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed
but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself."
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[02 Apr 2005|11:52am] |
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beast of blood-- malice mizer |
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I'm home for the weekend, thank god. This last past week at my dad has been hell. The rules have been getting more and more strict and ...just... GAHHH!
Last night was so much fun though, makes up for the week I've been having I guess. I went to the beach with Steph, Gina, Krista and Julie. We had a great time sitting in a circle on the beach, someking like a bunch of hippies. But the hilight of my night though was when me and julie went looking for a clean bathroom: A giant bug attacked me and I ran after julie screming at her to get it off me, and eventually ran stight into a pole.
I didn't get home til about 12 or so. Gabby and krista spent the night.
I havnt been so happy.
By the way, living with my dad has made me greatly appreciate the people in my life. I love you guys, you know who you are. ♥♥♥
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[27 Mar 2005|12:26am] |
One time I had two biscuts.
And I ate one.
Then I only had one!
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[15 Mar 2005|07:36pm] |
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mood |
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 full |
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Its iffical, I've moved in with my dad, and so far... its been pretty cool. Well maybe cool isnt the best word to use, more like "okay" or something. I'm at mrs. Vici's right now, and the rugrats are crawling around somewhere. Apparently Nat is oh so happy I'm living up here. I've now taken the role of big sister. Oh what fun, right? God, I miss my firends and mommy and house and.. my everything left where I onced lived. Okay that was a bit dramatic, but still. Atleast I'll be home friday. And good thing Cesar's party is friday! cant wait to be with my friends again. Oh yeah cant forget, spring break is arouind the coner too.
<3 and i miss you all. Leave me comments, that way I'll have something nice to look at while I stay here =)
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[10 Mar 2005|08:32pm] |
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you know what they do, guys like us in prison -- MCR |
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I think I've made up my mind, and I've vote off home schooling as one of my options. I don't want to be able to go to school and not see my friends. I think I'm going to live with my dad for the rest of the semester. I'll proably go insane, yes, but hes a hard ass and will actuly know how to get me up in the morning. I'd still be going to the same school, with all of my friends atleats. Plus its only for 5 days out of the week, and I'd be home in the afternoon for 2 or 3 days.
A few people I've talked to also think it might be a good thing if I lived with him only because we don't spend anytime with each other. And well...he did try and bribe me with his cooking.
If I "improve" my waking habbits within the next cuppel of weeks then living with my dad (or home schooling) wont be an option anymore.
I guess the only thing I have to say to that is... we'll have to wait and see.
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[09 Mar 2005|03:38pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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to the end -- MCR |
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My dad just came over and we had one of those 'heart-to-heart' talks. I now know what my options (as far a schooling goes) are now.
** do homeschooling (home health bound or my mom teaches me)
* Live with my dad for the rest of the semster
** Wake up and go to school
any suggestions?
</3
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[09 Mar 2005|02:25pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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Its not a fashion statement, its a fucking death wish-- MCR |
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I guess a lot has happened to me sense I got back from Mega. The con was great by the way, althogh there were a few times when I flipped out. I missed school all last week, mostly because I was out all weekend. I was so psyched about the con I made my mom get us a room for metro. The best part about it is WE GET OUR OWN EFFING ROOM! now isnt that one hell of a deal?
+ Met some interesting new people
+ saw some of my 'old' con buddies
+ had a good time with my beloved friends
- flipped out on kristen and harry once or twice
+ went with julie and puneet on this cart thing to go visit Dave (and get drunk)
- Dave wasn't there, but insted walked to Dennys
+ Rocked out at the concert and had a GREAT time
- lost my voice while being there
- Had to come home
After the con was over and done with, I've been hanging out with Puneet, Marc, Hannah, and Cesar.
Marc's birthday party on friday. We played pictionary (amoung other games)! Marc got his license and a hot new car.
Saturday I sleeped for most of the day, and did nothing. But luckly marc and cesar called me inviting me and Puneet to the beach. We were only there for a few hours, but they were a few hours well spent. I think the ride home was the best though. God, is marc a great driver.
Such good times.
I love my friends, they're thr best.
I didnt go to school monday or yesterday, so thats like what a week and a half I've missed. My mom blaming it on my meds, witch is a posiblity, but I don't think it is. I've been feelig really stressed, school and everything, some other things too. But the way it looks is that by next week I might be put into the Home Healthbound progarm, where they do oyur schooling over the phone. A lot of people I've talked to think its a pretty good idea, but I want to keep going to school in a school. I dont know. Maybe if the change my medication I'll get better and start going to school again. We'll find out sooner than later, I'm going to the docters today to get my meds switched. Oh joy.
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[27 Feb 2005|09:31pm] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
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music |
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psycho le cemu |
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Megacon was asowem!
I'll have a picrture post up tomorrow...
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[24 Feb 2005|10:39pm] |
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mood |
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busy |
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music |
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Rich girl-- Gwen Stafnie (sp?) |
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I have about a million things to do, but I'm just so goddamned tired.
Megacons tomorrow! And although I'm already packed, and have been packed for sometime now, I still feel the need to check if I'll need anything else. I figure if I wake up at six (witch we ll know wont happen sence I cant even get up at 7 for school), I'll be able to get ready, and repack, once again. I'm so happy though. My mom got beef jerky for the car ride there... and its mine! Julie can share though because it was both our ideas.
God, I'm just so excided about tomorrow! Being traped in a car with Krista, Harry, Julie and Kristen for two hours. what fun. They know I love them though.
Like I said I have like a million things to do, so I think I'll finsigh ding them and then go to bed for a little. Kristas already dead asleep.
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